The Life of An Irish Wrestler
“Right Finn your next.”
“I’m gonna show the world how an Irish man gets into NXT!”.
“Before you do Finn, remember you only get one chance and one chance only to sign with NXT.”
“Don’t worry coach, I was born for this moment!”.
“Well then since your so confident Finn you will be going up against Samoa Joe, a top WWE superstar!”. Ding! Ding! Ding!
A clothesline from Finn Balór, but Samoa Joe gets straight back up. Balór wastes no time and goes for 1916, but Joe reverses and locks in the Coquina Clutch! This is surely the end for Finn Balór, wait Balór powers out and hits Joe with the Shotgun Dropkick! 1! 2! 3! “That’s impressive kid, you’re gonna be a top superstar someday, but not of course better than me!”
“Thanks Joe, that means a lot coming from you!”
“Congratulations Finn Balór, you are officially a NXT superstar!”
“Thank you so, so much, I can’t believe it!”
“Well you better believe it coz your debuting in 3 three weeks against Drew McIntyre.”
Three weeks later. “Open up Finn, its time!” “Ok, ok!” Drew McIntyre comes out, the crowd chant “You Suck, You Suck!”, then Finn Balór comes out, the crowd silence deciding whether to cheer or boo. McIntyre has a big smirk on his face, probably thinking that this will be a piece of cake. Ding! Ding! Ding! Drew McIntyre absolutely destroys Finn Balór with a deadly boot to the head that would kill most people. But Balór gets straight back up, McIntyre is flabbergasted. Drew McIntyre goes straight for another devastating boot to the head, but Finn Balór counters and hits McIntyre with an inch-perfect 1916 right on his neck, then a rib breaking Coup de Grace. 1! 2! 3! Finn Balór wins his debut match in NXT!
After that Finn Balór quickly becomes a top superstar and fan favourite in NXT, and deservedly earns the #1 contender spot for the NXT Championship which is held by Cien Almas. Six weeks later Finn Balór has his match at NXT- Takeover Brooklyn. “Finn this is your time to shine! show everyone that an Irish man can be a WWE wrestler!”
“Your right coach it’s time to show the WWE how we wrestle back in Ireland!”
“Whoa like your spirit kid, but Almas is a very athletic and clever superstar, so you need to be a real king of reversals.”
“Right, lets do this!” Both Cien Almas and Finn Balór come out to the ring. The crowd repeatedly chant “Finn Balór de-de du-du-de…!” Ding! Ding! Ding! Finn Balór wastes no time and goes straight for a Sling Blade but Almas athleticism comes in handy as he dodges and rolls out of the Ring as quick as lightning. But then Balór slides out of the ring and blindly runs into a chair-shot to the head from Almas. The match could be over because Finn Balór is knocked out cold. Cien Almas repeatedly hits Balór with more chair-shots to the back and ribs of Balór. All while this is going on the Crowd are chanting “NO! NO! NO!” which was made famous by one of the greats, Daniel Bryan. Almas drops the chair and goes and gets a sledgehammer and goes to hit Finn Balór with it, but Balór grabs the chair and jabs Cien Almas. Finn Balór then hits him with a 1916. 1! 2! 3! “And the new NXT Champion, Finn Balór!” The crowd chant “YES! YES! YES!”.
Finn Balór held the title for a further 147 days, until he vacated the title, when he moved to RAW unbeaten. “You finally made it to the big leagues Finn!”
“I know coach!” 4 weeks later Finn Balór made his debut against them the Monster Among Men, Braun Strowman. It looks like Finn Balór is gonna lose his unbeaten streak. Ding! Ding! Ding! Braun Strowman grabs Finn Balór by the ears, it looks like the end may be near for Finn Balór! But no! Balór reverses, he lifts Strowman and hits him with a Jackhammer! 1! 2! 3! Finn Balór not only beats a monster on his Main Event debut but holds Braun Stroman vertically up!
Finn Balór instantly became the best superstar on RAW. He won every title, the Universal Championship, the Intercontinental Championship and the RAW Tag-Team Championships with Seth Rollins.
Although life was luxurious for Finn Balór, he wanted a fresh start, and that was on Smackdown Live. “Finn you will have your first match on Smackdown next week against Shinsuke Nakamura.” The following week Finn Balór and Shinsuke Nakamura had a fantastic match, but Balór came out on top. Finn Balór had an equally great run on Smackdown and won every title also, the WWE World Heavyweight Championship, the United States Championship and the Smackdown Tag-Team Championships with Bobby Roode.
Finn Balór retired at the age of 48. He won every title multiple times, including the WWE World Heavyweight Championship 22 times, a record in the WWE. He also won the Royal Rumble every time he entered in his 25-year career. When Finn Balór gave up wrestling in the WWE he moved back home to Ireland and started a wrestling school. One of his students succeeded, signed with WWE and had an equivalent if not better career than Finn Balór, and his name was Niall McGlynn, but that’s a story to be told another day.
THE END!
By Niall McGlynn